Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
