meet me or not, i'm out of control
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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