p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
