I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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