This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
