I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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