Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize