this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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