have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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