we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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