i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
