so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
