People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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