I cannot find my penis.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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