That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
