alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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