My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
