We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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