did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize