Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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