Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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