You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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