Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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