Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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