They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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