i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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