tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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