flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
