the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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