yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
