CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
