I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
