I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im six kinds of drunk right now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
