What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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