I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize