I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
