why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
