If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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