and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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