who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my mouth tastes like poor choices
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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