So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We got so high we made milksteak
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just want nice things and good sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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