North Korea, Best Korea!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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