My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
