how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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