At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's blow job season.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
