I just cut my nipple shaving
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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