I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
