well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
