I accidentally had phone sex last night
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
