Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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