I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
