I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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