he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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