On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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