shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
