The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"