Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Plan B is the new Plan A

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(916): View more from California

You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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(707): View more from California

i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'

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(407): View more from Florida

and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.

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