Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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