Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
