make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
