I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You're earring is so big in my mouth
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
