Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
