i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No subtext here. People are naked.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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