Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
