the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
