All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is Oprah even human
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize