we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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