Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize