thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
