I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
