im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
