At least make sure they are 18
Why
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
