You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
